Moment of Glory
by LoveAcrossTime
Summary: There is a certain bond between one who almost died and their protector. A connection, deeper even than can really be expressed. Just for this one moment, we can feel however we want to. This is my moment of glory. InuXKag/Oneshot


A/N: I'm back! Let's just not think about how long it's been, okay? I've been...really, really busy. Hardly an excuse, I know. I really did try to write...I'd open files I was working on, stare at them for a long time, then give up. I just haven't been able to. Writer's block? Who knows. Anyway, I'm coming back slowly. I haven't forgotten about all my serials. I'll update them as soon as I can, although I'm afraid I can't make any promises. Anyway, please enjoy the fic!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.

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Moment of Glory

My heart pounds. Fear stabs through me, and my ears burn as I speed though the wind. I feel a familiar sensation of blind panic begin to overtake me. I know. I _know_. Any minute now I will hear the scream. I use all my strength to push off from the next tree that I alight on. I feel several branches break away, and then hear them clearly as they tumble noisily to the ground. I ignore the sound, glad for the extra burst of speed. Just a second more...

The scream comes. I know that it should sting my sensitive ears, should make me wince. Instead, I _feel_ the sound. It is not so much an audible noise as a painful jab from somewhere inside me. She isn't just yelling. She's yelling for _me_. I can feel it.

My fists clenching, I burst through the trees. _There_. I locate her instantly, before I can even see her clearly. I can sense her better than anyone else. I could find her even if I was blinded. Hell, I could even find her without my sense of smell. I always know.

And my reaction is instinctive and instantaneous. My muscles fall into place before my brain can register anything. In fact, my brain hasn't really done anything since I first felt her, from back at our camp. I felt her fear. I felt that she was in danger. I had barely begun to wonder _why_ the hell she didn't have her bow before my instincts took over. I don't bother to assess the demon that is approaching her. I see only an enemy, a villain, a distorted, twisted, horrible being who wants to harm my Kagome. That is not something that I allow. A creature such as that does not deserve to live.

"Sankontessou!" I cry out the attack as I slide right in front of the demon, which I now see has reached out several tentacles to attack Kagome. _No, you don't!_ I feel my claws tear through slightly sticky flesh. I can't help but revel in the joy of battle, to enjoy the sensation of my claws ripping through the demon, like a comb through hair. Strange, blue blood speckles my hands and the ground below me. The demon dissolves into a cloud of shredded flesh and glimmering spots of blue. It is gone. The danger is gone.

I spin in the air, my eyes anxiously seeking her before I have even landed. There is relief and gratitude in her melting brown eyes. I let out my breath in a sigh of relief, trying to do so quietly, so as to be inconspicuous. I think she notices anyway, though. A faint blush colors her cheeks as she smiles at me.

"Thank you, Inuyasha."

I allow myself to bask in her grateful gaze for a few seconds as I slowly drift toward the ground. My heartbeat calms somewhat, although by no means slows to its normal rate. She's still looking at me, after all. Making eye contact. No barriers. I don't need any, either. Just for this one moment, we can feel however we want to. Almost losing your life is a funny thing. It makes you forget to stop yourself from thinking things. From feeling things. And saving someone's life yields a similar feeling. You feel as though you were of use. As though you really, truly did something good. Not accidentally. Not in a silly way or a dumb way. You genuinely helped someone in the biggest way possible. There is a certain bond between one who almost died and their protector. A connection, deeper even than can really be expressed. And so, just for that one moment of relief, when you realize that you're both alive and that everything's fine...for that one moment, no matter what, you feel good. Needed. Loved. No matter what or who you are, or what you've done in the past. In that one moment, you are good.

It's even better when the one who sees you this way, for that one special moment, is someone that you care about more than you've ever cared about anyone before, in your whole life.

This is my moment of glory.

You could say, in a way, that I love these moments. But in truth, you'd be lying. There's nothing I love _less_ that the sudden panic that comes to me every so often. The stabbing panic that means that Kagome is in danger. Maybe it's because I've saved her so many times before, maybe not. I don't know why, but I always know when her life is in danger. And during that little interval of time, when I'm unsure whether or not I'll be able to save her...I experience what I'm certain is the worst feeling in the world. But once I've seen her...once I know that she is alive, and safe, and well...that's when I feel good. Great. Wonderful. I feel like _she_ thinks I'm wonderful, anyway. And that's the only opinion that matters. And it is _those_ moments that I live for.

"Are you okay, Kagome?" I whisper. She nods, that little smile still on her face. That little smile that controls my mind, that takes me prisoner. That makes me want to do anything and everything I can in order to please her.

Softly, I land on the ground, bending my knees to absorb the shock. Slightly humiliated, Kagome turns away. The spell is broken. I wince, wishing I could have taken longer to land.

I don't want to meet her eyes. Her big, warm, chocolatey eyes. I don't know why, but suddenly I don't want to. Suddenly I feel ashamed.

And so I yell at her.

"You idiot, what the hell were you doing all the way out here without your bow? That demon could have killed you!"

I can see her flinch, taken off guard. Remorse tears at me. Why can't I just act like a normal human being, for _once_, instead of always hurting her?

_Why_? That's because I'm not one.

"Mou, Inuyasha. How was I supposed to know I'd be attacked?"

_Grr. Be more careful, dammit. _Always_ be prepared for attack. That's the one thing my childhood taught me. And if something happened to you, what the hell would I do?!_

"You shouldn't ever go off by yourself unarmed!" I reply curtly.

"I was just going to get some water," she offers in her defense. I can see anger flaring in her eyes now. "I was only going to be gone a minute."

"That doesn't matter! If you can't take care of yourself then you shouldn't be going off alone at all!"

There is a long pause.

"What?" Her voice is suddenly cold. I try not to flinch as the pure anger in that one word hacks away at my heart. _Why can't I ever know when to stop?_

"Keh!" I spin, and jump into the nearest tree. It's too late to make it up to her...besides, I wouldn't know how, anyway. That's something that I _didn't_ learn from my childhood. How to deal with people.

Especially people who I want more than anything, _not_ to hurt.

There never used to be anyone like that.

She turns on her heel and stalks off.

"Wait! Where are you going?" My reaction is involuntary. Her sudden departure surprises me.

When she turns to me again, her voice is chilly as before. "I am going back to camp. I think I just _might_ be able to make it back alive by myself. I know it's so very difficult."

And she is gone, the trees blocking her from my sight.

As soon as she is out of earshot, I groan, leaning back on my branch. I did it again. Why can't I just keep my damn mouth shut? I hate that thing. And I hate the person that uses it. My untold hate is directed instantaneously toward anyone who hurts Kagome in any way. And yet, always, the one who hurts her the most...is me. I don't feel any satisfaction from the fact that I have that power over her. I don't _want_ that power over her, if it means that I will end up hurting her. I want to affect her, definitely. I like that the things I do actually do affect her, because it means that she registers me. She remembers me. She _thinks_ about me. But...if she has to hurt...I'd rather none of that were true. I really would.

And then, suddenly, it comes to me again. That pang of terror.

Jumping up, I speed off in her direction.

But this time there is no scream.

My heart pounds at twice its normal rate. Why? Why doesn't she scream? Is she so mad at me that she'd rather die than have me save her? My throat constricts.

Or did she...already...?

_NO!_

The panic sets in full force. I forget to breathe. Inwardly, I scream her name.

_Kagome! KAGOME!_

And then suddenly, through the branches speeding by beneath me...I see her. Faster than even I can quite register, I flip around, plummeting down to her. I prepare myself to attack whatever has dared to harm her.

Only nothing has.

My eyes widen in puzzlement as I glance around the small clearing. There is Kagome, perfectly unhurt. Warm relief floods through me; my heart begins to beat again. And...what am I, hallucinating because of panic? There are lots of tiny pink sparkles—there's no other way to describe them—drifting down to land at Kagome's feet. One catches in my hair. They're real, all right; at least I'm not hallucinating.

And then suddenly I realize. The pink sparkles _are_ the demon. Or..._were_ the demon, is more appropriate. She purified it. All by herself. No bow, no arrows. She saved her own life.

Her expression is smug as she turns to face me.

"See, Inuyasha? I think, just maybe, I can manage."

And then she notices my face. It must still be stark white, drained of all its blood, for her features immediately shift from satisfied to anxious.

"Are you okay?" she asks me.

That's just too much for me. _She_ was nearly killed—_again_—and now she's asking _me_ if _I'm_ okay? What's wrong here? Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

"Keh."

Finally, I land. It's never taken so long before. She approaches me, her bright brown eyes scanning my face.

And suddenly, I don't know what to say. She's not thanking me, because she has no reason to. I can't ask if _she's_ okay, because that's fairly obvious. Besides, she beat me to that one. I scan my brain for something good to say. She doesn't look mad anymore. I really, really want to keep it that way.

"Um...good job," I mutter. "That was...good. Yeah, wow. Really great."

She laughs lightly, but I can tell she's still concerned. "You don't sound so enthusiastic, Inuyasha. Not that you have to, of course," she adds. I almost smile, but find that I can't.

_Disagree. Say you are enthusiastic. Try harder to compliment her, dammit!_

"You didn't need me to save you," is what I say.

She blinks. "I told you, didn't I? I can manage on my own."

_No._

"I was taken by surprise before," she admits. "It won't happen again."

_No._

"I've learned a lot, you know. I can take care of myself." She looks proud.

_No!_

"But what about me?" I blurt out, unable to stop the words. _Shit!_ I want her to ignore them. To laugh them off. To not answer. To walk away. Anything.

Instead, she gives me a puzzled look. "What about you?"

I flush deep red. "Keh. Nothing."

My blush doesn't escape her. Of course it doesn't. Her eyes widen in interest. "Now you've got me curious, so you have to tell me," she says. Is it just me, or do her eyes look...hopeful? _Hopeful for what?_

Distracted by that look in her eyes (or, well, just her eyes, really), I answer, almost dazed. "You don't need me anymore," I state simply. It's not a question.

But the confusion in her eyes just grows. "What do you mean?" she asks softly.

I shake my head, wondering if I really have gone insane. Why am I telling her any of this? I try to convince myself it has nothing to do with that hopeful look in her eyes, and the fact that I'd do just about anything to fulfill whatever wish is making her look like that. Nope. That has nothing to do with it. "Don't be stupid, Kagome. If you don't...you know, need me to save you anymore, then...what?"

"What are you saying?" Her tone is still soft, gentle. I feel like a child that's thrown a tantrum, and she's the calm adult who's trying to figure out why I did it. I hate that. I don't want to be a child to her.

So I explode. "Dammit, Kagome! I'm not an idiot! If you don't need me to save you anymore, then what's the point in keeping me around? I don't do anything else helpful! All I do is hurt you! Okay?"

She seems startled. More than startled. Shocked. "You think that's the only reason I stay with you?"

_Obviously._ "That and the jewel shards."

And then her anger flares up. I can see the fire burning in her eyes. "You really are stupid, aren't you, Inuyasha? You really are an idiot! You honestly think that that's it? That's the _only reason_?!"

I think back. I remember the day she promised to stay with me. To stay by my side. How could I forget? _Then_, I didn't think that. That day, there was actually...a glimmer of hope...that she might want to stay with me. To _be _with me. _But why...someone like me...? _I can't make her happy. I can't. The only thing I really know how to do is fight. And so I fight for her. I will do anything to protect her, of course, but that's not all of it. In protecting her, I am ensuring that she has a reason to keep me around. Even if all I can ever be is her guardian, the one who saves her life...that's fine. That's all I need, as long as I'm with her.

But now...

Slowly, I nod. "I'll never make you happy," I say. I don't mean to...that was definitely _not_ the part I meant to say. I don't want her to think that. I don't! No matter how true it is...

I don't want her to think it!

"Inuyasha." Her voice is steady, but the hand with which she abruptly reaches out to me is trembling. "How can you think that?"

"All I can do is fight," I say, echoing my earlier thoughts. "If I can't fight for you, what _can_ I do?" I can't take my eyes off her hand, her small, delicate, shaking hand. It's almost ridiculous that someone like me is completely under the power of that hand. But I am. It's not ridiculous to me, not at all. I would do anything to keep her alive. And I would do anything to make her happy.

Understanding has finally dawned in her eyes. She believes me. She knows that I'm right. That I'll never be able to make her happy. And I know that I will give it all up if I have to. As long as I know that she's safe, if...she would be happier without me...I will leave her. I won't stay with her, continuing to hurt her forever. I can leave her. I _can_. I don't know how long I'll survive, really—_when_, exactly, did she become my entire life?—but I'll do whatever it takes to know that she's smiling.

"Stay," she says.

I freeze. For the third time that day, my heart stops beating. The word echoes in the cool air, ringing inside my head.

_Stay...stay...stay..._

"Don't be so stupid, Inuyasha," she says, very softly, imitating my faux-mocking tone. "There're a million reasons why I want you to stay. And not one of them involves you saving me."

I don't need to answer her. I can tell that she is telling the truth from the smile in her eyes. And there is understanding there, too. She knows exactly what I want to say—everything I wish I could say—from my own eyes. I can tell.

Her hand pauses in midair, still extended toward me. In a sudden burst of relief, the same as the one I feel after I save her, I reach out and wrap my hand around hers. It is just as small and fragile as before, to me. But it is solid and it is there. I don't look away from her eyes, because I have no reason to.

This is my moment of glory.

She smiles brightly, her eyes shining. "You'll stay?"

I laugh, my voice finally back. "Of course, you little idiot. I was never going anywhere to begin with."

"Oh yeah?" she smirks at me. "Even if you never need to save me again?"

"Even if you have to save _me_."

It's her turn to laugh. "Don't worry, Inuyasha. I'll let you save me sometimes. I like it."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I like the way it feels. There's a bond, you know. Between someone who almost dies and their protector."

Surprised, I meet her dancing brown eyes. "I know," I say.

"But I think it'd be there for us anyway," she continues tentatively. Her cheeks flush pink, and I smile. "The bond, I mean."

"Yeah," I agree. Then I pause, unsure how to phrase my next question, but desperately needing an answer. "Am I learning?"

She knows exactly what I mean.

"Rapidly," she says. "It works out. I'm learning to protect myself, something I didn't grow up learning. And you...you're learning something you didn't grow up learning, too."

I nod, in agreement again. "That...glory I get when I save you. That's not the only way to get it, right?"

She beams at me. "Of course not. Do you feel it right now?"

Tightening my grip on her hand, I smile.

That's all the answer either of us needs.

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A/N: There we go...my first completed oneshot in who knows how long! Reviews are, as ever, my ambrosia. Constructive criticism is always welcome...flames will be disregarded, as they are puerile and unnecessarily degrading. Thanks a lot!

More updates soon!


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